Man and Woman.
From my humble opinion , at the age 2 or 3 there is no difference in gender, excepting toys ,clothes ,plays/games. Later on, when the child is aged enough to go to kindergarten , the differences between them is started to show themselves, for instance , girls and boys started to noticing the difference in behaviour – some boys become as teaser ,bullying other kids left and right and it should be alarmingly because we all are living in polite and calm society and such behavior is not acceptable. On the other hand , from the very beginning man`s essence should show itself. And how It will show itself is in parent`s hands.
Talking about children in England there is no word as “banned” or “disallow” because most of the parents wants to have a nice, smart and beautiful children, hence they shouldn`t having any knowledge of limit or boundaries. You[minding about parents) needs to be very sneaky and cheeky enough to avoid the difficult situations like forbid doing something ,going something because you have no rights(in this country) for punishing them-what will you do – will you ground them?! The bottom line is – you need to be very flexible taking care of your own child.
Few months ago I saw the family when father was walking with his child which was on the lead! Could you imagine how flabbergasted I was?! How ridiculously stupid it is ? Yes, it was nice ,polite, innocent lead, but still lead, don`t you think? How obnoxious and unskilful turkey you should be to have only this opportunity to walk out your child?! It is crazy, to be honest, It is craziness.
On the other side of the Earth(talking about Russian culture),all parents have the rights to punish their own child. The methods could be very strict – it starts with simple talk/sermons and go till physical punishment using leather belts(ouch ,I`m having lots memories about this).All those activities could be avoided by simple way – all children had been taught by simple idiom – we all are knowing what is good(right) and what is bad(wrong). Summary,all children is free to choose what they should do ,all of them should have their common sense and in case if they were done something bad or unacceptable, they were doing this on purpose , hence this deed could be either praised or punished. Reminiscing my childhood ,I could not support any decisions what has been made by my father, but since becoming older and older I started to realize the meaning of those punishment and the strong (but positive) impact what had been made by those punishments .Could you take a while and try to realize the positive factor from all of it?
There is saying in English “the roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet” which I completely agree with. And all further education steps is lying on the parent`s shoulders and on them only. Presumably ,it is more financial question rather than way of the choice, for example , to you’re your child to Oxford School for boys you need around £ 18 000 per year, hereof if you were born in wealthy family then , with a high probability ,you will have the better education which means – better future careers ,better(well-known) friends and, the most important ,you will grow up as very intelligent person .Lets say that you are not from the rich family ,which future is waiting for you? Well ,being grown up in “all-allowed” style you may be wanted to try all-you-can-get from life including lies , drugs, alcohol ,sex, alarmingly bad language, briefly all the worse what the parents wants for their children.
Talking about my own experience being in school ,i`d say that it was awesome part of my life .All the teachers were strictly kind(can you imagine the mixture of it?!),they punished(verbally, in this country it calls verbal abuse) you when we have done unforgivable mistake and they were praised you when you were showed then the sign of wisdom. Repeatedly ,who will you become is your choice and your only , so it is only up to you .My favorite subjects were the Maths(Algebra+ Geometry ),Physics(in higher classes),Chemistry – all for logical thinking person. And for the record ,I was very good and intelligent pupil and my Maths teacher always was proud of me and she wanted to show this to my sister(who has studied in the same school but in higher class)and she was telling lots of positive things about me in front of all sister`s group. I won`t lie to you by hiding the shadow side of this positiveness – when I went to another school ,cause all my family was moved to another region , I was joined to other class – 9 “D” (this”D” letter meant that it is the worse class of the 9th which was supremely surprising for me) and it was a bit scary because I will be moved from my accustomed area to something unbelievably horrible and frightening.I will tell you about the 1st of September of that year .After the celebration ,I went to my classroom and I saw three guys who were about 2-3 years older than me(later I figured out that they managed to sit in jail for a while),they were undoubtedly full of energy and were excited because of “new meat” .One of this pack has came to me and told me – let`s go out and get some fun by fighting each versus other? I wasn`t suicidal man who has no sign of self-preservation and I refused this kind offer, obviously . He shrugged and went to another new guy for the same reason .This newbie ,probably, was overconfident about himself and he agreed to stand against this massive street guy. After the lesson(having the break-time) all the class went out looking for blood .As you may understand , the newbie was lost tremendously and at the time when he realized it – he said “enough”. Other guy(bad one) said he doesn`t want to stop. After this answer I went to classroom to carry on with studying.When the bad pack came in I haven`t spotted the newbie around there. That day was my first day in the 9 “D” class and it was also the last day when I saw this newbie at school. It was indeedy horrible story .
In my country was an obligation to serve your country in that particular way. Many young men, starting from 16-24 were supposed to serve their own country all around the country. And ,as I mentioned before, it wasn’t the choice for them ,it was an obligation which could be have some criminal consequences if you were tried to avoid serving there. The only chance how you could legally avoid “one year of suffer” – you should be studying somewhere.
I had been in Army(Latvian) and I must tell you that it`s really silly things to afraid of .This year gave me a lot ,starting with physical endurance and strength and I could finish with mental stamina .I could undoubtedly tell you that that particular time was full of ruthless ,verbal abuse, very tough physical trainings and ,of course, fun. At the meantime ,there were no any sign of physical violence. You were simply should been comply your superior`s orders ,should be perfectly doing your duties and don`t mess around. However ,there were tour of duty, for instance – you should be cleaning all “the house”-the building was made to locate and facilitate the normal living attributes for 90-120 men. When I am saying “cleaning” ,by that I meant – ensure that all surfaces are clean including mirrors, windows, tables, surfaces in the toilets ,all the ground should been cleaned, all the walls , steps etc. You were on this tour of duty for 24 hours and you were not allowed to leave your position unless your superior have been told you do so.
It was lots of the moral pressure on you. You were not been allowed to communicate with anyone through the mobile phone while you weren`t had had the break-time (after 6p.m.).There were lots of regularities which you should been followed or you will be punished by going to the tour of duties out of turn. Once per month you had an opportunity to get home for two days and in case if you were mistaken somewhere or unsuccessful at any point of the lessons or anywhere ,you lost your chance to get home. I haven`t mentioned before , but I must – while you have been on such territory , you shouldn`t been allowed to go somewhere freely ,should not been allowed to leave this place until you have an approval to do so .You were partly freely person ,when you have the free time ,you can do whatever you want to- go to the gym ,play chess or talk to your relatives by face-to-face (if you were allowed to do so) or by phone .But there was the place for unfortunate mishap -I knew one guy who could not resist anymore and couldn`t cope with any pressure ,therefore he had been broken [from inside] and irrevocably was sent home .
After successfully finishing this period of time , I was proud of myself and I could see the difference between previous myself and new-born myself. The Army gave me lots knowledge how to be manly,how to behaving maturely and it also gave me lots of benefits to get better job.
Contemplating some articles, like “Women could get combat roles in British army by 2016. Defence secretary says he hopes ban on women serving in frontline infantry roles will be lifted ‘in next year or so’”
I really cannot understand any significance of all this. Why women shouldn`t be banned from serving in the Army, mind you, there is no place for any point of sex-discrimination. All what I wanted to say – the army is not the right place for the beauty of mankind .In the Army should be serving by people with strong personality ,with a good spirit, the person who could make any tough decisions without any sign of the doubts .I`m not saying that any woman could not have that particular traits or skills . There is lots of discussions about it , and each flip of the coin have their own cons and pros .But let me tell you a true story which had the place in my teacher`s life while I had been sent to him to be taught how could I improve my qualification [as a Prison Officer] . This teacher, whose name was Viktor ,had been very tough with some piece of roughness .He was teaching me and my group(about 15 people, both sex)how and when to correctly be using method of self-defence. As I mentioned , he was tough and when he hit,he hit! Obviously ,being the teacher and working with lots of guns ,being part of several subdivisions ,master of his craft ,he knew how much force he needs to append to make this hit. After the first practice with him we all were thinking that – enough is enough. But practice makes perfect, so we just kept trying and practicing with him . I forgot to mention , he was working with both sexes as equals and after some while we were asking him – why is he so brutal with us? And why he doesn`t make any difference between guys and girls .His answers were simple – he is so fierce because the inmates won`t be gentle with us and about difference in gender – he answered “You all are equal here, you all are having the same duties and no matter when the time comes , you all should be acting identically.” It is so weird but, at the same time, very profound. Later on he was telling us the story ,when he was a part of guarding team ,like bodyguard or so , he had been seen one woman, the boss of this team. And his face at that very moment was changed and became as a scary mask ,he was afraid of this single woman. Then he had been told that this woman wasn`t a woman anymore but she were(!) some kind of machine ,who were destroying anything on her way. From that very moment , I got this statement about the man and woman. The men should be hunters and providers, the women should be gentle ,being proud of being woman and look after their own posterity.
And now we`re approaching the next part of my point of view .
Being an adult
The year of the early 1970s,when the women got the rights to be equally with the men, was the turning point and it goes only in one direction – further and further .Before that time people were known what is wrong and what is right ,there were sure about the next day, about the future because there were sure that nothing is going to be different but since that time in 1970s..it had been started to snowballing people`s minds. They started to think about the restricted areas – they had been thinking about the freedom-freedom of actions ,freedom of education, freedom of rules(how ridiculously it wound not be sounded). From that moment , the difference between the men and women are started to become less and less.
Actually , I don`t mind to give the opportunities : to get better job, better education, better genes ,better quality of life to those ones, who could be contributing more and willing to get all these goodies ; but my mayor point is to show all of us that we should not kept the man and woman as something identical, because they are not. Now, here and there, we are facing the fading of men`s kind. Nowadays ,it seems to get normal when we are see mostly the women are behind the wheel/in charge . The men wistfully losing the ground ,gloomily looking back into the past which was gone. To be honest, it`s sadly to see that tendency of switching the roles, when the men, who supposed to be the strong one, receding back by giving his position to the women. Presently, all the traits which was giving to the women ,as shyness , softness, lots of talking and none of action, could be equate to the men as well, which is very ghastly fact.
To be honest ,I have my gripes with this [maybe because of my age and how I had taught, old – fashionably],but it feels that we will not be able to fix/change it in any point ,it is how the [present] world goes.
Let`s get to the point of being an adult , or ,if you want to call it differently , to be mature. Accordingly via internet , “(..) relatively advanced physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. ; grown-up (..) ” but what is it – being mature? Is it the state of mind or the measure of your wallet? Or maybe it contains your social skills – being reliable, with very good communication skills, being polite and thoughtful ? Many people think that all those skills means being mature ,however that is not a full list of that.
Being an adult, actually , is very enormously hard job : you should be on time where you are needed , you should be not-a-bad-guy who could ruin some other`s plans, you should think about your future and think carefully , you should .. do lots of things which can`t be named by anyone-because no one knows the full list of “you should”.
Talking about my own experience ,I was somewhere in my 20 or so, I was living with my family and was awoken and the first thing what came into my mind – was the thought about living by my own . There were no evidence of bad relationship with my relatives or something like that – I was happy at that time – with my job, with my gaming addiction ,with how I spending my time and so on , but ,I guess ,it was the signal about becoming as new persona ,enough is enough ,so to say.After that very moment , I started to use my internet for another purpose [not to play through only] – to find some place to live. After a few days of searching , I had found one particular 2-rooms flat and it was nice at the moment when I had a look around. But it was a very bad timing [it was September , as I can remember] and I did not know anything about the increasing the bills and stuff like that , because I haven`t experienced it yet .As you may imagine , this rent impacted crucially to my finance source. I must admit, that I had literally run out of money after I paid my bills and rent . I barely could afford something like meat and this kind of stuff, yeah , it sounds scary and horrible .. but , believe me , I had learned a lot from that. Later on , when my father wanted to visit me for “to see how my only son lives” , I cooked the chicken with potatoes plus some vegetables and when he came in and we got the dinner ,he was nearly crying because he saw the environment where I am live in. And ,with the pain in his voice,he said ” Why didn`t you call me?! Am I bad father?!” , I said that it`s just tough time for me and I NEED it right now , I need to start the life without family`s [ financial ] support . Believe me or not, but he got my point and then the phrase followed “Then stay tight ,it will be very tough time for you and , if the things go south, don`t hesitate to call me and ask for any backup ,alright?!” . Later on , after 2-3 months , I went to live in another city ,on a bit countryside, where “the gross was greener”, the “air is fresher” and “people are better”. Ironically enough, the next flat what I rented was the 4th rooms flat and I rented it for about 20% of my month salary ,which was as manna from the heaven for me .
Summarizing all this experience ,I would say that the individuals needs to put all his effort into himself to become the mature person and , mostly ,he should do it by himself without any help from outside because this not only provides you with life-necessary experience , but also will contribute developing this person`s stamina and willpower, even without mentioning the physical power and psychical stability .Technically , you don`t need to have lots of money in your pocket or have the supportive family – all you need is keeping your mind sharp and get lots of experience in life , because that is all that matters.